More Than Words
by Poems For No One
Summary: Mickey cant tell Ian how he feels, so he'll just write them in his letters.
1. Chapter 1

**Gallagher,**

You're stupid. You really fucked up this time. There aren't enough words in the whole fucking world to describe how much of a fucking dumbass you are. Everybody here is freaking out because of the shit you pulled, and they think it's my fault. I'm not telling your family where you are, you can tell them yourself

. It was a dumb ass fucking move doing what you did. If you wanted your ass shot off why not stay in the fucking neighborhood? You should come back. Your family wants you too, just come back alright.

I don't know what else to say, I seriously have no fucking clue why the fuck I'm even writing you. This is your fault; I just needed you to know so you get your family off my back. If you were here, I would kick the shit out of you for being so fucking stupid.

Anyways, my dad will be home soon, I don't want him to walk in on me writing this. Don't be stupid and get your ass shot off or blown up.

* * *

**Mick,**

Let's be clear, I really don't give a flying fuck about what your father thinks anymore. I won't let him control my life like he's controlling yours.

Another thing- Cut the bullshit; we both know you don't give a shit about my family. I'm here and I'm staying. You of all people should know why. You're the one who taught me that shooting shit takes the mind off things, and that's what I'm doing.

I must admit though, I'm both happy and angry to hear from you. I know this is your own fucked up way of telling me that you do care, but everything still reminds me that I should have never hooked up with you that first time, and I sure as hell shouldn't have repeated it for over 2 years.

I think I've waited for you long enough, but what I should have done was realize that this whole thing between us was doomed from the start.

I'm not afraid of your father; let him know there's nothing else he could possibly take away. Let the whole neighborhood on the south-side know that Ian Gallagher is a faggot. I have no shame in who I am, and who I choose to fuck. I was in the closet for 15 years, and I'm never go back in there.

I am happy you wrote, but maybe you shouldn't do it again. Get on with your life- cause I'm getting on with mine.

-Ian.

* * *

**Gallagher,**

Jesus fucking Christ Gallagher, Do you have a fucking death wish or something? You must think you're bulletproof or you just lack common sense.

You don't know anything about my father and what he's capable of doing. Stop acting like this shit isn't serious, you knew the minute we fucked that this had to keep this quiet and now my whole family knows. You have no idea what I have to go through to keep my head above water. You need to grow the fuck up and stop living in your fantasy world.

My family isn't like yours; we're not the fucking Brady Bunch. You think I had a choice in any of this? Stop being Naïve and start reading between the lines. As much as you want to hold hands and skip down the street like a couple of fairies, not everyone can. I shouldn't blurt out my fucking feelings, you should just know.

If it makes you feel any better than yes- I fucking love you. That's what you wanted to hear right? Okay so I said it, now what? You're gonna come back and we're gonna have a happily ever after…. Didn't think so.

I wish you weren't so fucking stubborn to notice that everything I've been doing lately is to keep you safe you ungrateful prick. I still think you're fucking stupid for leaving- but you're a lot safer there than you are here. Just don't get shot.

* * *

**Mick,**

I know that your father is a sociopath, and I know he's a fucking prick. I didn't come here to hide away from your dad; I came here to hide away from you. I never wanted to hold hands and look for shooting stars with you. What I wanted was for you to be okay with being with me, which you never were.

How am I being the naïve one? I know what I want, and who I wanted. I didn't expect you to come out, and I didn't expect your family to take this lightly. I know what neighborhood I'm from, and I know that nothing is or ever will be perfect. But I also know that all the fucked up things about the both of us, made us perfect for each other.

I can almost see your face right now scoffing at the last remark for how "gay" it sounded. But I got some news for you Mick- you are GAY! You didn't ever have to admit it to anyone else but you couldn't even admit it to me. Your father has you wrapped so tightly around his finger it's sickening, and you don't even see it. You can't even say "I love you" without throwing in some sort of insult. Perhaps I'm an ungrateful prick, but you're a fucking coward.

I don't have a death wish, I'm just not afraid of death or your father. I have nothing to lose because there is nothing else your father can take from me.

I didn't expect much from you admitting that you love me. I just needed to hear you say it. It's a little too late now, but I'm still glad you did.

-Ian.


	2. Chapter 2

**Gallagher**

My dad found the letters you wrote. He never checks the mail, the one day he does he sees the last letter from you. You can't come back here, he wants to kill you. He's been tormenting your family and the Kash 'n' Grab until you come back. He showed the letters to your family and they saw the address was from overseas. You're family knows that you're in the army, they're pissed! I don't know if they're going to sell you out or not, but they know.

If they rat you out, they're gonna send your ass back here and my dad will kill you. This is what I was trying to warn you about and tell you about but you didn't fucking listen. This is why I couldn't stop the wedding. My dad would kill me, and then he would kill you.

I'm skipping town tonight. I don't know where I'm gonna go but when I find a place I'll write you. Don't write back to my old address, you'll make things worse with my dad.

Don't get shot.

* * *

**Mickey**

I wrote a letter home and attached this letter for you. I assume that Mandy would at least know where you are, so if I'm lucky she would have sent this to you herself. I should be there helping

I just wanted you to know that you were right. I was stupid to underestimate your dad. I heard what he did at the Kash 'N' Grab, Lip wrote me and told me. Your dad is a fucking psychopath.

It was a very fucking stupid idea for me to come down here, now there is no way to make things right with my family. They're all scared of Terry, so much that Frank won't even show his face at the Alibi anymore. I think I'm going to turn myself in- So that I can go there and deal with your dad so that he stops fucking with my family. If he's going to hurt anybody than he can hurt me, my family never did anything. I'm sorry I fucked everything up.

I miss you

-Ian

* * *

**Gallagher**

Don't be stupid and turn yourself in Gallagher. That's a fucking death sentence. If you go back there my dad will not hesitate to kill you, do you understand? He has it out for you; even my brothers and cousins are in on it.

Mandy told me everything; she agrees and thinks you need to stay away from here until things cool down. You're more likely to listen to her than you are to me anyways. Your family also agrees. We're trying to figure out how we can get rid of him, so far all we have is frame him and get him sent to jail, or to kill him. We haven't figured out how to do that just yet. I haven't left Chicago yet, I'm just staying under the radar until I figure out what I can do.

If you haven't left we wouldn't be in this mess. But right now I'm just hoping you're okay because this is my fault as well. I was the one who wrote you first, I should have told you not to write back. Shit Gallagher, we both really fucked up this time. I'm staying in some shitty motel and Mandy is the only one who knows where I am. You were right to send the letter to her, that way my dad will never find out. Don't do anything stupid in the meantime.

Don't get shot… I miss you too

* * *

**Mickey**

I'm still trying to figure out how the fuck we got here. Why it is that every time something really fucked up happens you and Mandy are always involved? How do things always get so fucked up with our families? I feel so helpless here; I appreciate you doing this for my family but you guys need to let me help. This isn't their problem this is ours. I shouldn't have been so stupid to write you back, it was fucking dumb on all levels. I didn't even think about what would have happened if your father found out that I was still talking to you. I hate your dad, I fucking hate him, and right now I want to kill him more than anything.

I talked to my family, they're not going to rat me out… yet. But that doesn't mean I still can't turn myself in. This is my problem, not my families. Let me deal with your father, not you, not Mandy and not my family. The only reason why I haven't turned myself in yet is because my sister Fiona is trying to keep me safe until she can kill me herself. Damned if I do, damned if I don't; either way I'm fucked.

If this isn't solved soon I'm coming back, I don't like feeling helpless here. I love you

-Ian


End file.
